What happens in a Somatic Experiencing session? A closer look at 'nervous system regulation'

SW Colorado - Bear Creek meadow in spring

I often hear people ask 'what exactly does nervous system regulation mean, and what happens in somatic therapy?'

Honestly, important questions. As a somatic practitioner for over 10 years, here are some of my thoughts.

(Jump down to 'specifics' if you want just the nuts and bolts of 'what you actually do.')

OVERVIEW - TALK VS SOMATICS

Talk therapy has the idea that by simply understanding our problems & making a clear plan - we will change. This does apply to some challenges, but it's not true for trauma and other long-term issues.

Somatic Experiencing holds the perspective that when it comes to certain long standing problems we aren't going to think our way out of them. This includes trauma, nervous system dysregulation, certain chronic health issues, and many relationship struggles.

Instead we are going to need to work with our body on a more visceral level. This means learning to notice the cues and signals communicated by your body.

PHYSIOLOGY

If right now I were to ask you to dilate your pupils a millimeter, or down-regulate your body temperature half a degree, or up-regulate your digestion, or relax the tiny muscle fibers around your skull ... you couldn't do it because none of us can consciously control these things.

However, your body continuously monitors these processes to maintain homeostasis. Your autonomic nervous system handles this.

When any of these things are off, everything else in your life goes on pause. How we feel is fundamentally a product of our body being in homeostasis.

As the saying goes - you can have 1,000 problems, but as soon as you are sick, you only have one.

"Nervous system regulation" might sound abstract, but when our body fails to do it, we feel it right away. We quickly notice something is wrong.

This includes experiences like headaches, fever, digestive issues, or nausea. Nervous system dysregulation can also show up as feeling dissociated, shut down, anxious, or irritable. You might feel unsafe, struggle to relax, or have a hard time concentrating.

THEORY

The topic is simple when we discuss moving from feeling normal to experiencing acute dysregulation or stress.

The topic becomes complex when we have been feeling dysregulated for a long time.

Feeling bad might have become so familiar that we have forgotten how to feel good. Or even what good feels like.

When our body or nervous system adjusts to living with distress, it gets confusing. Our "normal" can feel uncomfortable, but it also feels familiar.

When we try to change symptoms we want to eliminate, our body may react as if we're doing something wrong or dangerous at first.

At this point we have probably also had a lot of practice disconnecting from our body. The work of "nervous system regulation" starts with slowly reconnecting to our bodies.

At first, it may seem like we're not doing much. But we are actually teaching our body how to return to a homeostasis that feels good.

SPECIFICS

In SE, we say "use the story as fuel for the body." This means that when we talk about our experiences, good or bad, our bodies react.

We will feel sensations, emotions, movements, or impulses. Most of us have learned to disconnect from these bodily experiences.

Learning to reconnect with the body in this way actually opens the door to deeper healing.

This will look a bit different for each person.

For one person, focusing on their breath after discussing a tough issue might be all they can manage at first.

Another person may find it helpful to notice how their jaw and fists tighten when they talk. As they pause the story and focus on their body, they might feel their fists and jaw relax.

This can lead to other body parts softening and emotions surfacing, possibly for the first time.

Most of us are walking around with chronic tension we aren't even aware of.

By learning to feel what our body is doing, we are able to access certain regulation processes that we otherwise override.

Have you ever noticed your shoulders were being held up by your ears for no reason? If you pause and let yourself really feel this, they usually soften. Just by feeling the tension, your shoulders relax.

You don't have to force it. That's the start of regulation. And it shows up in many ways.

WATCHING A SESSION

Remember that this work varies greatly from person to person and session to session. Here are some things you might see if you had a camera in a session:

The people are typically seated, but sometimes they stand or a client might even be lying down. They are having a conversation.

The conversation probably has more pauses and moments of silence than usual.

The conversation likely ebbs and flows from the client’s struggles to their current bodily experience.

I sometimes invite clients to pause the conversation and notice what's happening in their body.

This can include changes in breath, muscle tension, feelings of fatigue or energy, and states of vigilance or relaxation. They might notice temperature shifts, yawns, burps, and various body sensations.

All these reflect changes in our homeostasis, managed by the autonomic nervous system.

As the client pauses to focus on their body, they often notice new sensations, emotions, or memories emerge. We will then discuss the new material as it arises. This new material often includes key information related to their challenges.

Slowing down helps the body 'communicate' these insights that we otherwise might have missed.

I may invite the client to try certain movements, to repeat a certain thing they said, or to linger on a feeling they mentioned.

Some of these invitations might not evoke anything meaningful. Others quickly reveal an important insight or begin a helpful regulation process.

Different traumas and wounds call for different help.

Trauma resulting from a single event benefits from detailed attention to the movements and sensations of the body.

Complex trauma and the wounds of family and relationship call for more nuanced care. In these cases, the body often sends mixed signals. It may crave connection but also feel scared or mistrustful.

Taking time to untangle and understand the mixed signals is essential and involves working with both the body and the mind.

CONCLUSION

Mammalian physiology has universal principles for regulating and returning to safety.

However, the process isn’t the same for everyone. It must be tailored to each person and their situation.

Any given somatic practice can be very helpful for one person and actually harmful for another. This is why working with an experienced somatic therapist can be so important.

Nervous system processes can be obvious, like yawning, sweating or large muscles relaxing. It can also be subtle: a quiet shaking in your limbs, tension or relaxation in your torso, changes in vision, or new feelings of tiredness or energy.

Most of us have been conditioned to pay attention to our thoughts and the outside world around us while ignoring our bodies.

Paying attention to our inner sensations, feelings, impulses, and images helps us tap into the body’s intelligence.

The same intelligence that has never missed a heart beat, fights off infection, and wakes us up each morning. Also the same intelligence that governs our sense of safety or danger in the world.

Working with our body, rather than against it, can lead to deep healing.

This healing is key to not just easing our symptoms, but also to finding a life filled with meaning and joy.